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Sunday, September 23rd, 2118

In yet another corporate buyout by almighty Apple Inc, the popular video-sharing website, YouTube, has been renamed "iTube". The website was formerly owned by Google Inc, a small technology company whose stock has been declining since 2050. Steve Jobs III, CEO of Apple, calls the deal a "breakthrough". This latest move by the industry giant is part of a series of business takeovers. Last month, Apple absorbed American Airlines, Microsoft, and Kraft Foods. Every time Apple takes over a new company, its product or service becomes an instant success. For example, now that Apple controls Kraft, it places a free iPod shuffle in select boxes of Macaroni and Cheese. One would expect the same effect for the future of "iTube". It's rumored that people will now be able to use their iCamera to upload videos wirelessly onto the website. Apple Inc. once again makes life more convenient- what will they think of next?
 * YouTube Replaced by "iTube" **

**Droid Doesn't  **  Apple's iPhone and Google's Droid have been battling in the cell phone business for over a century. What began as a relatively close competition, has progressed into iPhone domination. Studies show that 9 out of 10 citizens of iWorld prefer the iPhone to the Droid. Despite the overwhelming numbers, those who have a Droid are still very passionate about its supremacy. The war between these two phones has always been hypothetical- measured in sales and gigabytes. The phones have never actually fought each other for rights to claim king of the cell phones. Until now. In 2115, Apple announced it was developing a new application for the iPhone that would change the way people think about apps. Rumors spread like wildfire about the possibilities, with the company finally confirming suspicion in its weekly press release to iWorld. iPhone would soon have a "cockfight" app. Apple admitted it was still in the developing process, and it would be a couple years before they work out all the kinks. Unlikely underdog Google Inc bravely announced it too would design a cockfight application, one that is far better than the iPhone. Most of the population laughed at Google's preposterous claims. Last month, both companies announced their programs were ready to be tested. Naturally, Apple and Google agreed to a cockfight duel to demonstrate the power of their respective applications. The bout was held yesterday in the nation's capital, Silicon Valley. The two phones were put into a pit the size of a pool table; the Cockfight Apps were launched and the cockfight began. Robotic arms and legs emerged from the bodies of the phones, each with sharp claws and spears. It was quickly apparent that the iPhone had superior speed and strength. The two phones wrestled with each other for a couple minutes, until the iPhone pinned Droid to the ground, stabbing it in its battery. iPhone then launched it's Taunting App, in which it stated "Droid Doesn't".